What the heck is a Vondonkey anyway?

Are you wondering where that funky name originated?  Let me explain.

You remember way back in the late 1990’s when “getting online” was all the rage and AOL seemed to be the most popularly chosen dial-up internet service?  Dial-up, yeah, I can still hear that modem screeching like a cat being swung around by its tail.  Well, it wasn’t long before everyone in our family had purchased a computer, signed up with AOL, and in no time we were all enjoying the online chat feature.  It was especially nice for me, being able to converse with my parents regularly without running up those pesky long-distance phone charges on the land line.  We had push-button, corded telephones, too.  Wow, so much has changed!  And, you know, that “You’ve got mail” thing — it was pretty cool.

During this time period, I took a Florida vacation wherein I stayed with relatives who, of course, used AOL.  I mean, why would they not?  They invited me set up a screen name under their account which allowed me to continue enjoying the daily chats with my parents during my stay.  Wasn’t that nice of them?  Coming up with a screen name took me some time, though, because I wanted something really unusual.  I don’t remember why I didn’t want to/couldn’t use my regular screen name on their computer.  Then it hit me.  I’ll use…”Bondon!”  In the 1970’s, when my nephew,  Jeremy, was very young, he could not pronounce “Vonda” correctly.  It would always come out “Bondon.”  So, there was my temporary screen name!  I put the KY on the end to represent the great state of Kentucky where I’ve resided since 1987.  There’s a story for another time.  Anyway, this Bondonky name, as it turned out, was not temporary at all.  It stuck with me long after that vacation even though I no longer used it on AOL.  Or anywhere else for that matter. However, through many subsequent online chats with my father, he slowly and very skillfully changed it to Vondonkey.  I suppose he did it because it more closely resembled my real name, you know, with a V and all.  My Dad did it!  He was always doing silly things like that with names and words.

Now, twenty years later, I am still referred to as Vondonkey by many of my family members.  However, these days it is more often said with a very heavy southern drawl, with higher pitch and major emphasis placed specifically on the “key” part. Like “Vondonk-EEEEE!”  Sounds like something from HeeHaw, doesn’t it?  Now you know the history of Vondonkey.  Won’t you sleep better tonight after having gained this knowledge?  Ha ha!

A Comedy of Perils

Introduction

In 2010, I had been a nurse for less than two years and was working the night shift at a local hospital. One night, I had a sweet patient who was a wise and lovely older woman. She was witness to my gracefulness when I got tangled in the curtain between the two beds. While I was escaping from the curtain, I bumped into her bedside table, which caused her cup of water to fall over and drip onto the floor. I dropped my pen when I was en route to finding a towel to clean up the water, and while bending over to pick it up, my glasses fell off of my face. She giggled at me and said, “You are a comedy of perils!” I got the biggest kick out of that! She made my major klutziness sound almost elegant. By the way, I thought that word started with a “C.” You know, “clutziness.” Learn something new every day! Anyway, I thought, “Yep. That’s me!” I decided that if I were ever to write a book, that would be its title. 

And, I am in the process of writing my book, A Comedy of Perils, and have 63,604 words written/typed, so far! The book’s description: A collection of hilarious, true-life, you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up stories, thoughts, quips and quotes, scattered throughout and interspersed within the traumatic experiences, tragedies, and heartbreak which, through its process of being typed, slowly morphed into my memoirs. 

To my wise and lovely patient, if you are reading this, I dedicate my book title to you.

Last night, my eldest daughter, Amber, suggested that I start a blog. She said, “You can make money doing that!” Really? Make money typing stuff for the world to read? (You know, kind of like publishing a book. Haha). She said, “You’re a professional.” What? Me?? You can get paid for that??? It turns out, you really can, and many bloggers make substantial incomes, too. I spent some time researching it before going to bed and woke up with it on my mind. I read through the guidelines on bloggingbasics101.com and voila! Here I am, a blogger. Who’d uh thunk it?! As promised, Amber, my blog is dedicated to you, for without your inspirational and vocal nudge, I would not have imagined doing this, at all. Thank you. I love you. 

I’ve also done a lot of research on how to get my book published. Traditional publishers prefer authors who have a “large online presence.” I guess that makes sense. If you already have an audience, you already have potential buyers for your book. I doubt that my Facebook page and my enthusiastic and supportive 50 or so readers qualify as a significant presence. Still, blogging is a great way to achieve it! So, let’s do this blogging thing!